On my way home from work tonight, I passed a 7/11 on Reynolds Road in Toledo. Normally when I'm driving I ignore all of my surroundings because I'm screaming along to some song that I barely know the words to. But this night was different. I had an extra $40 in my wallet, a full tank of gas, and a bloodstream full of caffeine. I glanced over at this particular 7/11 and a sign nearly reached out and grabbed me:
I read it. I read it again. I read it out loud. I tried to comprehend what the words were, what they were supposed to mean. Then it hit me. "El Taco" = new 7/11 item. I laughed so hard I nearly swerved off the road and killed myself.
What kind of product name is "El Taco"? Is this possibly the stupidest marketing campaign in the history of mankind? I'm trying to imagine exactly who came up with this name, who could possibly be so lacking in imagination, so devoid of creativity as to settle on "El Taco". And worse yet, who's that one guy who inevitably will be proud of this moniker?
I try to imagine the 7/11 bigwig meeting when they were coming up with the marketing strategy for "El Taco". All I can think of is the Simpsons episode where the Itchy & Scratchy cartoon adds the new character, Poochy. The meeting went as follows:
Roger Meyers Jr. (CEO of I&S Inc.): The new character needs a name with attitude. Something like Poochy, but more proactive. You writers figure it out. (leaves room)
Writer: Is Poochy alright with everybody?
Other writers: Yeah. That's great.
The "El Taco" meeting had to have been exactly like that. I'm seeing a room full of ad execs and a couple of 7/11 suits. One suit says, "We need a name that just shoots off the vibe of Mexican flair." Another suit says, "But at the same time relays the quality product that 7/11 is known for." A third suit says, "Make sure the name has the word 'taco' in it. We want people to know that it's a taco." The first suit says to the ad execs, "There you go, show us why we pay you so much." A week later, after lots of head-scratching and maybe even a couple of suicides, the ad agency returns with "El Taco". The stiff corporate white guys look at it, then look at each other. The ad exec sweats awaiting a verdict. His last idea, "Das Sausage", flopped and he's finding it increasingly difficult to put food on the table for his overweight, Internet-addicted children. The big suit shoots a glare at our ad exec hero. "Trent," he says with an icy cold tone, "we love it." And so "El Taco" is born.
It's really difficult to come up with ways to make fun of a moronic marketing campaign like "El Taco" because it pretty much makes fun of itself. It's a Jerry Seinfeld's nightmare: the product that says "What's the deal with me? I don't make any sense!" But as stupid as it is, as incredibly mindless and typically American as it is, I'll be damned if it doesn't get stuck in your head. People will see the "El Taco" signs, laugh themselves silly, and have "El Taco" stuck in their heads. At least a few of them will actually buy "El Taco" simply because of name recognition. So in the end, 7/11 wins. They spent about 5 cents on a marketing ploy and it's so ridiculously simple that people will invariably buy their product. Sheer genius. It makes me sick.